Feeling ready for the 2019 challenge?

Barely in the door still with my coat and boots on still, I had the urge to write another blog post before I finish my errands for the evening.

(I tend to do all my errands on a Friday evening after work) – sad I know but I feel like it completes the working week and I then haven’t got the weekend worrying about it.

Anyway the whole topic on this blog post is am I feeling ready for 2019? – it’s the urging question I keep repeating in my head over and over.

Will I achieve what I’ve set myself to tick off?

Things you set yourself to do can always be trial and error. It’s life you have to try things before you know you’re good at or enjoy doing it right?

Like swimming for instance, tried it at school and now it absolutely petrifies me! You will never catch me in the sea unless I’m touching the sandy base… I don’t like the unknown!

On a serious note, jokes aside I sat down yesterday evening opening my newly fresh 2019 diary and took a hard long think at what goals I wanted to set myself to do.

It was refreshing as I’ve never really taken my diary/journal seriously, I’ve always palmed it off and just put it in the draw where I’ll use it again for scrap paper! Anyone else?

This year was the year I promised myself I would write in that page for goal related reasons and not just doodling paper!

I started to think what my 2019 “goals” were questioning myself how can I better myself? Get towards my passion for styling? Be more creative in producing clothing? Get myself out there in blogging world? Learn more photography? They all cross my mind and they’re something I want to work towards!

The first thing has to be learn how to use my bloody camera…I am no photographer and I’m not trying to be! Just basic skills would be nice!

These photos above were taken on my new camera and they’ve made such a difference to my content, which I’m really loving compared to my usual iPhone pictures.

I just am desperate in a way to actually stick to something and see it out rather than let it all fall to crap..

I’ve always been a creative person expressing that daily, making things and trying out my sewing machine.

I started my own depop accessory business a year or two back, making my own earrings, chokers and all bits and pieces and after a few months I gave up…I have a tendency to give up at the first hurdle! But not this time!

Further to my planning I am deciding on another creative venture I can do to tick off my life, but that is for another post when I have something solid.

There just is no better feeling than seeing those things come to life and hopefully some of those bullet points will throughout the year.

But always one step at a time – you’re only human.

Until next time.

Shanices Peaches

Xox

My goals for 2019…

First of all I feel bloody weird typing 2019 down… can we just go back to 2010 when all the pop songs were out?!

Every year that passes more and more new years resolutions get added to the list, it’s only natural and it’s a tradition people seem to do every year….

I am still in shock at how quickly this year has flew by – I say this every year! But seriously I still remember it being spring 2018, walking around in that fresh air not this bitter snow filled skies.

My goals for 2018:

1. Travel to more destinations: with that constant wanderlust feeling, I like to travel somewhere new at any given opportunity or funds lol. 2018 just proved how many countries have been unseen… following from trips to Barcelona, Berlin and Santorini to name a few that I have ticked off this year!

2. Take up a new hobby: yeah I know I probably say this every year, seriously I want to take up a new hobby and try something new to say I’ve tried that. You never know it could be my calling in life “joking slightly”.

3. Come off my medication: it’s early days still in my “recovery” but it isn’t the first time it’s crossed my mind to try wean myself off of! I want to become “Shanice” again without the medication you know?!

4. Be sensible with money: another you never listen Shanice – I am the worse shopaholic admittedly. I just cannot help myself! I want to only start buying the essentials and treat myself every so often when it’s saved up for and well deserved…not just because that chunky pair of boots looked cute on the shelf and needed to be bought that instance.

5. Pursue with my blogging: I try and put every single spare second I have into my blogging and thankfully it is slowly paying off which is really rewarding to see – to know people are enjoying my passion all about fashion and moi! Is it to adventurous to say I would love to hit 10K by the end of 2019? I’ve just hit 5K recently and I am over the moon…it’s a BIG milestone and a reminder to say I can achieve anything I want to?!

There’s my top 5 things I want to achieve in 2019 so you have a rough idea and it sort of puts into perspective what I want to happen!

I would love to hear what you guys have planned or would love to tick off your list?

Until next time.

Shanice’s Peaches

(If you have viewed this off my Instagram page you will have noticed my Instagram name has changed…that story is for another day)

Xox

Why I don’t drink alcohol anymore…

Pretty obvious title header but I bet it’s leaving you like “what” is she crazy?!

I ask myself this everyday…every hour if I need to double check…

It’s very much a touchy subject in some circumstances for sure as it’s all very new to my routine of being a young girl in my early 20’s!

*disclaimer* I’m not pregnant or haven’t changed religion in the past year…

I don’t drink alcohol anymore.

Why do you ask? So it’s time for another story time with Shanice!

Grab your snacks and your glasses!

Nearly coming up to a year ago, I believe my last drunken night was nye 2017…not long after that I started to develop this phobia of being drunk/hungover very weird I know but that’s when my mental health started to deteriorate and I guess that come along with it…

I believed alcohol was the devil

I avoided every social situation because I became scared to be the odd one out. It’s such a common thing now a days to go out and have a drink you know and I didn’t want to be seen as the boring one?

I guess my anxiety just whispers in my ear every time like “alcohol is the devil and you will die if you drink“.

I’m open now to say I don’t drink when someone asks if I want a vodka or whatever, but I shouldn’t have to explain myself? It’s a choice not compulsory.

I’ve also learnt to realise it is nothing to be embarrassed about? Like I don’t drink get over it haha…it’s a choice and like I said before it’s not compulsory! Don’t ever feel the odd one out for doing something you feel is right or matter of fact don’t feel peer pressured – stand your ground!

It’s just unheard of I suppose in my generation and it’s uncommon to see but hey I’m me!

It’s not to say I’ll never have a drink again, I just don’t feel the urge to anymore when I go out.

I’m fine with my mocktail lol.

I don’t feel like I’ve missed out or that I’m missing out now on the whole parting and getting drunk phase in life as when I turnt 18 and even before you would go drink with friends, go to parties and regret it the next day for drinking way too much!

Recently going to Santorini, I thought hey I’m holiday more relaxed maybe I’ll try an alcoholic drink…sipping a watermelon Bacardi breezer (wild I know) I knew I just didn’t feel it anymore…

I guess aswell if you’ve read my previous blog posts on taking medication that was a big factor to which my “phobia” played upon…you’re not meant to mix alcohol and me being a HUGELY over worrying girl I thought it would make me seriously ill as I was told by my doctor – whether that’s true one day we’ll probably find out and I’ll write another post saying don’t do it haha!

I’m a humongous over worrier and that’s my issue!

Hope you have enjoyed a different kind of blog post & maybe someone can relate with me and reassure that I’m not a complete weirdo?

Until next time.

Shanice

Xox

Will I ever have the courage to come off my medication?

I mean it’s pretty obvious from the title what this post is going to be about, right?

And it’s something that has been racking at my brain the past week. If you’re new to my website I’m currently taking a medication daily called sertraline for my anxiety and depression and have been just touching four months down the line.

All I can say is confidence.

What a changed person I have become and for the better, I’m not going to sugar coat it and says it’s been easy because the beginning was the hardest like any new object in your life can be.

And if you’re going through something similar you can read my from the very first “medication related” blog post here or if you’re just intrigued check it out!

I thought writing this update was important, keeping a diary if you like on the stages to follow up on the previous and for myself to see the progress in my emotions.

One thing I’m going to go back to that I quoted above is confidence. I swear I have gained this new confidence in the last couple of months and I feel FABULOUS

Adventuring out by myself, doing things I’ve never imagined doing! I feel alive again!!!

No anxiety about going to Tesco alone or feeling like I’m about to faint.

No wanting to cry because I feel out my comfort zone and want to be in my safe zone at home.

No panicking about getting a tube by myself in a crowed situation.

I just cannot explain how good it feels to feel like this?! I’ve never not known myself to be a panicky mess and it’s amazing!

The downsides:

I feel more depressed than I feel my anxiety – it’s not the best balance but without sounding picky I think I prefer it just because my anxiety stopped me doing so much.

Feeling emotionless: you guessed it another dreaded side effect…know when you’re hormonal and want to cry over anything? I cannot seem to do that I feel numb…but then again it blocks out the constant panic I beforehand had in my chest 24/7.

The headaches: ever since I have been suffering with severe headaches from time to time to the point I need to sit in a dark room, but with any medication there is side effects.

Counselling seems pointless: it’s frustrating because I waited 6-8 weeks to go back to counselling again but feeling like this I feel like I’m taking nothing in? All the exercises and tasks I’ve been set e.g face something I feel like going to Tesco alone..I feel like I can do it now I feel emotionless because I’m not panicking? Then on the other hand if I choose to finish my sessions early I will be discharged…then if I come off my medication it will be a viscous circle again?!

My biggest worry currently is what is going to happen the day I start weaning myself off these “happy tablets”.

I keep putting off my 3 month review with my doctor because I’m scared of hearing “shall we try wean you off” I’m just not ready but I don’t want to be dependent forever? I want to build myself up again!

Will I be able to cope?

Or will I spin back to how I was beforehand?

Will I be able to leave the house?

Go to work and not have a panic attack in the toilet?

Go to town alone to do the simplest task?

Avoid my friends and family because I’m scared of embarrassing myself?

I dread to think about it and if I’m honest I am so so scared to be that “person” again because deep down I know I’m a loud colourful individual just trapped with these demons hanging over me.

It’s one of those things in life you have to overcome and I’ve done the hardest part already accepting I needed that coping mechanism to get me through.

If anybody else is going or has been through similar situations I would love to talk and exchange advice!

Until next time and hopefully on a brighter note!

Shanice

Xox

What I love about the blogging industry & a year later.

I felt an overdue update was owed on why I love the blogging Industry and of course I’ve hit my one year mark.

Starting my blog properly back in November 2017 followed by me creating my own website *yay here we are* I felt I have come a long way and gained a hell of lot of confidence I probably needed it at the beginning – for example my first ever blog post which you can read here … it’s safe to say I’ve gotten more creative with my writing because I actually super enjoy it! *shock if you know me* it’s my guilty pleasure for sure!!!

What I have learnt over the past year is, some of the people you engage with online are the loveliest humans ever. Just from attending events, meeting up to shoot or chatting over message – absolute angels! Where have you been all my life…

It’s just so lovely to get out there and meet like your long lost twin!! Its fab! Don’t get me wrong arranging to meet people you’ve never actually met can be risky and sometimes they don’t show but that’s general life isn’t it!

I stalk them beforehand to know who I’m meeting, is that weird? Promise I’m not weird just over paranoid I’ll get stood up lol!

But it is always someone from a blogging group not just a randomer I have picked up off the street.

There is one thing for sure what I’ve learnt a year on is: I don’t care what other people think?

Be creative, express yourself and don’t take things to heart.

When you’re from a small area like me, people are going to make assumptions and gossip it’s totally normal…at first I was too shy and cared way too much but as time went on I asked myself, why didn’t I do this sooner?!

Life is all about expressing you as an individual and doing whatever the hell makes your soul happy and this is what fills mine with happiness.

*except when you have a meltdown because you have no content to upload* that’s another discussion for another day…

Don’t get me wrong I have the down day like any other blogger and I think some days, why is no one seeing my pics am I doing something wrong? What can I do better? It’s easy to compare yourself but always remember everyone has to start from somewhere right…

Although it is massively rewarding seeing when a picture has done good and you know people have enjoyed your content you created! On one picture recently in the outfit above considering I have just 4304 followers I had 5800 views which was magnificent!!! It’s things like that, that keep you going!

It can also be hard to get the motivation to be creative and take the pictures, for instance where I live there is only so many backgrounds you can stand in front of before it gets repetitive. I’m always finding ways to think outside the box and plan in advanced what I have been in-visioning at 11:30pm when I’m trying to sleep…I’m one for overthinking for sure!

I started off on my very first Instagram post being the below.

To scared to get my face in and worrying about what others would think. Let’s face it I don’t have the “normal” fashion sense and I just wanted to express that! Feel free to scroll down my page and see the endless improvements and preset changes but I think I’ve finally found where I’m happy!

But there is nothing like taking your suitcase up to London and having a shoot day, tiring but so worth it for the content! What better place to go.

Every street has a cute area to offer for the gram.

Also working 8-4 Monday-Friday there is no time to take pictures before or after and especially now it’s dark when I leave…so you spend one day on a weekend or for this instance two days taking a block of pictures ready for the following week! It’s tiring but I would not change it for the world, I just love expressing my creativity through my outfits and the locations.

So many more positives than negatives and it was the best decision I made starting one, it’s also helped massively with my mental health because I’m diverting it in a way to do what I feel passionate about?

It’s changed me for the better, for definite.

So without blabbing on any longer I hope you have enjoyed my little update and can see why I love blogging!

Until next time.

Shanice

Xox