What 2020 has made me think so far….

With the saying new year, new me saying – it’s a reality check to reflect on the previous year and what went well or what hadn’t.

I feel in a way you’re kind of forced to think about your future decisions, because yet again another year has passed and I did just that…

I sat down with my planner and wrote down all my goals and planned how I envision 2020. I want to push myself more than ever and try become a better version of myself – my mental health is a strong 5/10 currently, which is an improvement and I’m getting there slowly.

Realising the new year was fast approaching, I decided I needed to give myself some goals I really wanted to achieve.

I set myself some pretty basic ones, for a major shopaholic like myself:

• be stricter with money

• stop wasting money as much (food & more food & hair slides because I loose them all)

• don’t buy new clothes unless necessary

•shop more second hand

•travel more solo & with friends

•invest my money

•make new moves on The Peachy Kind (my handmade accessories brand)

I thought these were some good ones to follow and so far, it’s been good… 9 days in I know, but for me that’s bloody brilliant!

I just keep having this empty feeling inside me at the moment and I cannot for the life of me, figure it out. Why why why?! I feel seriously lost and I spoke about it in my last blog post which you can read here

I just cannot put my finger on it still. I guess I’m kind of happier than usual – which is a start?! I have my down days still and my really down days but it’s the norm with me… so quite frankly I don’t expect anything less, when those days do come around.

For instance the other day, I finished my car journey and just sat there in my seat for a good 45 minutes and I just couldn’t get out… it’s like I didn’t want to face some kind of reality?! But I don’t know what reality that was! I guess I just wanted to be in my own little world, where I can battle my own thoughts about life, I’m confused in what step to take next. I think anyone can agree driving on your own, is a good time to think and yet again I just felt empty?! What am I missing or not doing?!

I know with the whole Christmas and new year period, you loose motivation. You switch off, which is a good thing. Everybody needs a break and much needed time with your loved ones! I haven’t done my first shoot of 2020 yet, thankfully I pre shot content to last me through, so I could take some time off!

I just cannot point it out… it is driving me insane!!! I think I feel lost because at the beginning of a new year, you put pressure on yourself to do all these amazing things… when in reality the majority of the time, within a couple weeks your goals are a distant memory! It’s also gave me that nudge to make me think about what I want but I still don’t know that just yet…

It’s like, do I just save a hell of a lot of money and move across the world or will running away from my problems back fire… Because I know it’s something one day I’d probably like to do, but is now the right time because I’m not facing up to why I’m feeling like this?!

I know for sure, I want to travel more this year. With my confidence pretty much back and the bravery to continue solo trips, I want to do more of it. So that’s definitely up there as number 1.

Is anyone else in this blur of a mood at the moment?!

Until next time

Shanices Peaches

XOX

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