The bitter sweet of mental health

I really despise the world mental health but what else can you try call it, when it is unfortunately what it is?! ‘Sighhhhhh

Of course you find your own term for it and refer to it as that, but there’s no beating round the bush to what the demon is logically called.

Mine is usually referred to as the pain in the butt… not the best but that’s what it feels like most times!

I just wanted to do a truthful, honest post on mental health and get to the bitter sweet reality of it and my personal experience.

I’m open to say I am at my lowest currently for the first time in a while and this is what’s been happening in the life of crazy Shanice lately:

•I’m an emotional mess 23/6

•I struggle to go out in public alone.

•I’m at the lowest weight I’ve ever been for no explained reason.

•I’ve been signed off work because I cannot keep my shit together.

•I’m holding my hands up and seeking help. (I usually just brush it off, well try).

•I avoid any form of socialising because I’m scared of having a panic attack or a low episode.

•I’m to scared to take my medication.

•I keep blaming myself?

•When I do go out alone my brain goes in meltdown mode thinking everyone is staring at me.

•I kept myself hidden inside because I was so scared of the outside world being against me.

The list could go on forever, but I hope you get the idea of what happens to me and hopefully these future blog posts can help others!

I’ve spent so many years being ashamed for feeling how I felt. I felt some kind of monster for having these types of feelings and still to up till this day I feel pretty much the same. I just assumed when I was younger and so oblivious that I would wake up and it would go? But it only got worse the older I grew.

I just wanted to start creating more related posts, because we are all crazy in our own ways and as the saying goes – a problem shared is a problem halved.

I just wanted to do a intro into the reasons why I’m doing this going forward. I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation but I just want to make people aware of the seriousness of mental health and the real life side of it.

I really hope these posts can help others, because from personal experience I hate talking to other people because I just assume or know they don’t know what to do or advise because it’s all new to them? So reading other people’s posts has helped me to start opening up and accept this is normal and I’ve got to accept this?! Scary right but we can all do it together!

I’m here to spread my awareness so you don’t have to suffer in silence.

So until next time.

Shanice

Xox

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